The Void Read online

  “And you got in just like that? Wow, that’s lucky. Who is this Larry guy?” My father asked.

  “He was the creator of the show. Bit of an interesting character. Uh, he met us all at the park. There were five of us. Keri and Jon were the only couple. I guess they were in there to see if having a partner makes a difference in solitary.”

  “Of course it will,” my mother said.

  “Sure, but imagine spending two weeks in a tiny room with Jon,” my father scoffed. “That’s torture in itself. Those two will probably be interesting to watch. What on earth did you do with yourself in there? It must’ve been so boring.”

  “Oh, it was. I don’t know to be honest. I sat a lot. Thought a lot. Showered a lot.”

  Mum gasped. “Did you get privacy there?”

  “Of course. That’s why I was always in there. Honestly, I didn’t do much. I…It was hard.” It was too difficult to explain it. Now that I was out in felt almost as if I was talking about someone else. I wouldn’t watch the show when it came out. I’d rather pretend it wasn’t me in there.

  “I’m sure. This Larry guy, you said he met you at the park? That’s a bit of a strange place to meet.”

  “I thought so too. Something to do with them not wanting us to all know the location beforehand. I guess they wanted the whole thing to remain as secretive as possible.”

  “And the actual creator met you at the park?”

  “Yeah, I guess he was excited about the whole thing.”

  “But you must’ve seen where the place was when you arrived?” my father asked. I’d never seen him so interested in anything I had done in my whole life before. Pity I had been such a colossal failure at it.

  “Not really. The van had black-out windows, and—

  “Black-out windows? Dramatic!” my mother exclaimed eagerly. I resisted the urge to tell her not to get too excited that her son was about to be on the telly. She seemed to have forgotten what a fool I’d made of myself.

  “I guess so. When we got out, we were in some garage, and then we were taken straight to a waiting room and then to our pods. I didn’t see much at all.”

  “What about when you left?” my father asked. “You surely didn’t go through the same procedure?”

  “Well, no. He had a cab take me to my hotel. But…” I shook my head. “I wasn’t really concentrating on where I was, you know. The whole thing was so surreal.”

  “I can imagine, but…” My father seemed to be deep in concentration, the way he did whenever he was working on a project in the shed. “What about the other people? Who else did you meet?”

  “Nobody. Just Larry.”

  “Just Larry? You’re telling me the guy ran the entire thing himself? That seems a bit odd.”

  “No, he said the rest of the crew were sleeping when I got out. You know, they took turns watching the monitors when we were inside. I guess they didn’t need too many people. They just need footage from the cameras. But…” It was my turn to pause. The more I spoke the stranger the whole thing seemed to me. My father and I were staring at each other in a way that made me feel oddly connected to him. It wasn’t often that we had the same thoughts.

  “Ryan, who exactly is this Larry guy?”

  “I…I have no idea.”

  Chapter 23

  Keri

  I had officially lost track of time. Jon was convinced we should’ve been out yesterday, and for once I agreed with him. Not that I told him this. I’d never felt less connected to him as I had been in here. We’d been so disjointed. Whenever he was feeling one way, I seemed to be feeling the opposite. It was as if were sitting on one of those seesaws at the park. He went up when I went down. Although his ups seemed to be more manic than happy, which was where he seemed to be for most of the morning (Afternoon? Evening? Middle of the freaking night?).

  He was in the shower now, singing some weird, made-up tune about staying ahead of the game. I’d peeked in to ask him a question the other day and found him sitting on the floor while he showered. He didn’t tell me why but advised me to do the same. I’d never seen him so crazed before, and I wondered if I would ever be able to forget this side of him. Lately, he’d been even worse, but that was because he was certain the two weeks were up. Somewhere along the way our timeline had fused because I also thought we’d be done by now. I thought we’d be out yesterday, so I figured it was going to be today. I kept staring at the door, wishing it would open. Jon was probably showering to get himself camera ready, which was ridiculous considering we’d been on camera the whole time we were in here. I never thought it was possible, but we did actually forget most of the time. At least, I certainly did. Jon seemed to be acting all of the time. I’d mentioned it to him once, told him that he should just be himself, and he’d turned it around and accused me of trying to portray him in a bad light. I left it now. For the most part, it was like we were in here alone. If only that were true. I was sure I would’ve had a far easier time without him.

  Jon let out a huge cough, the sort that smokers have, and I cringed. I was glad he was showering. The last thing I needed was for one of us to get sick in here, and lately I’d been convinced that something was infecting us. It wasn’t normal to be stuck indoors for this long, breathing in each other’s sweat and bodily odours. I swept and cleaned as much as I could, but it wasn’t easy without anything to clean with. I used one of my shirts as a rag, and spent a lot of time ‘mopping’ the floor and then cleaning out the rag in the shower. We barely had any soap or shampoo left, so I mostly just rinsed out the rag under warm water. The shirt was one I had bought specifically for the show, and ironically had the word Fresh emblazoned on the front. I didn’t care. I wasn’t sure I’d keep any of the clothes I had worn in here once I was out, and I’d rather be one shirt down and have a clean pod. I was going to leave that shirt behind when we got out, and I was also going to get myself fully checked by a doctor. I did not feel healthy in here, and neither did Jon. Not that he told me that, but I could see it in the new yellow undertone of his skin, and the slightly rancid smell that now permeated his side of the bed. I was glad he hadn’t exercised as planned. He was already sweating too much. Those stupid kettlebells lay under the bed, and neither one of us mentioned them. When that door eventually opened, I was going to leave them behind.

  When Jon got out of the shower, I pointed to the part of the floor I had mopped so he didn’t walk there. He glanced at the floor, then at me, and groaned.

  “Cleaning again?”

  “Of course I am. Do you want to get sick in here?”

  “We’re not going to get sick in here. The two weeks are up. Today. We’re getting out. Who cares about cleaning? Although, you should probably have a shower if you want to come out looking good.”

  “What are you trying to say?”

  “Nothing. I’m not saying anything.”

  “You think I don’t look good? Wow, nice.” I was on my hands and knees, scrubbing a part of the floor I had already cleaned. For some reason this part of the floor was slightly darker than the rest, and even though this was just some design flaw, I kept cleaning it in case I was wrong. I couldn’t remember if it had looked that way when we had first come in. What if some sort of fungus was coming up from the bottom?

  “Ke, stop cleaning, for fuck’s sake.”

  I glared at him. “Don’t swear, Jon. I’m only cleaning to make the place look nice.”

  “Whatever,” he said and then deliberately walked over the spot I had told him not to. He sat on the bed and stared at the door as if it was going to open at any moment.

  As much as I wanted to clean up after him, I knew he would only do it again. I hated to admit he was right, but I did really need to shower. I hastily got up and snatched some clothes. I had brought enough clothes for the duration, but I had already worn shirts more than once, so my timing was definitely a little out. Nevertheless, I grabbed the shirt I had worn yesterday to wear again, only because it was the outfit I had decided would be my exit ou
tfit from the beginning. We might not have been released yesterday, but today had to be the day.

  “I’m going to shower.”

  “You don’t have to announce it.”

  “You don’t have to…”

  There wasn’t a point in arguing. I stormed off as best I could in a space that allowed only a few steps to get from one end to another and turned on the shower. Crossing the sanity line wasn’t as much of a relief as it used to be, but I was still glad to be away from Jon. I turned on the water and scrubbed my entire body as if I were the floor of the pod. Even with the water running, I could hear Jon coughing, and if he’d somehow managed to infect me, I needed to do my best to stay germ-free. My body was raw from the scrub, but it felt good. I cleaned my rag while I was there, then hung it up to dry. Hopefully I would never have to use it again. I brightened at the thought. In fact, the very thought of never having to shower in here again myself me feel better. I spent some time getting dressed and felt a little more normal for the first time in a while. I avoided the mirror, not wanting to burst the illusion. I might suddenly feel good, but I wasn’t sure if I looked it. I hadn’t been allowed to bring any makeup in here, and even though Jon had said it made me look younger on the first day, I wasn’t sure the same could be said now. I’d seen him glance curiously at me a few times.

  When I got out the bathroom, I found Jon still on the bed, staring at the door.

  “Jon, that might have been the last shower I will ever take in here,” I said as cheerfully as possible.

  It would be nice to make amends right before we were going to leave. Perhaps we could even turn this whole thing around and end with a dramatic twist in our forgotten love story. Two people torn apart then brought together. I’d been feeling sad about how we had conducted ourselves these past two weeks, sad that my whole family—because who really cared what the rest of the world thought—would see the way we had treated one another. But there was still time. That door could open at any second, but if we played things well, we could end in the same positive and loving way we began. I wanted to sit next to him, but I was so clean, and the bed had become the place I enjoyed the least. How could they not have provided us with spare bedding? I could swear Jon sweated more during the night than at any other time. Even though he’d showered before me, I chose to sit on the little chair by the diary camera.

  “How about some coffee?” We barely had any left but there wasn’t any point in rationing anymore. Jon didn’t answer. He continued to look at the door as if it wouldn’t open without his laser focus stare.

  “Hello. Earth to Jon.”

  “Yeah?” he asked without looking away.

  I inhaled deeply. My immediate response was going to be to snap back at him, but I needed this all to end well. “Would you like a cup of coffee? I thought it would be nice to spend some time together before the door opened.”

  He laughed. “Spend some time together?”

  Deep breath. Deep breath. “You know what I mean.”

  “Coffee sounds good. Make it a double.”

  “You sure? A double means you might not get another cup.” I held up the jar. “Actually, I’m pretty sure you won’t get another cup. How much coffee have we had in here? Didn’t Larry say he’d given us extra?”

  Jon shrugged. “Larry is a liar.”

  I didn’t know what Jon meant by that, but I wasn’t going to ask. Jon said a lot of strange things these days, and his fixation on Larry seemed to grow with every passing minute. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jon had been drinking double the amount of coffee when he made it, because that was the only way we had run out. I had meant to avoid this very thing. Either that, or Larry hadn’t given us extra, but right now I was leaning more toward Jon as the culprit.

  I made him a double anyway, but only because our time was almost over, and chuckled as he took a sip and smiled. Had I been too harsh on him? I sat back down on the chair to drink my own and wondered briefly if I should do a diary entry. We’d both done a few in the beginning, but they had felt so awkward. I pushed my chair forward so that the camera wasn’t on my face and saw that Jon was watching me.

  “Why don’t you come sit on the bed?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I like this chair.”

  “You do? I thought you said it was uncomfortable. Didn’t you say it reminded you of a waiting room chair?”

  I gestured toward the door. “Well, that’s what we’re doing, isn’t it?” I smiled a little to show I still had a sense of humour.

  “Thought you wanted to spend some time with me.”

  I smiled even though my humour was fast disappearing. “I do. I am. Jon, I don’t want to fight with you just before we leave. This whole thing has been tough, but we made it. The two weeks must surely be almost up. We did it. We should be impressed with ourselves. And hey, we didn’t kill each other. I’m proud of you, Jon.” It wasn’t entirely true. Proud wasn’t really the right word I’d use for all the things he’d said and done while here. But we’d almost made it, and that at least was something to be proud of.

  “You don’t want to sit here because you think the bed is dirty. I’m right, eh?”

  “What? No. Of course not. Jon, come on, let’s look at the bright side in all of this. We did well. I’m glad I did this with you. One day we’ll look back on this and laugh. What do you think? Aren’t you proud of us?” Come on, Jon. We’re on camera. Remember we’re on camera. Say something nice about me. About us. Say something that will make me understand why I’m in here with you.

  “We’ll get even more money than you think.”

  “What are you on about?” I asked as I looked curiously at the man who was looking less and less like the man I thought I knew.

  He laughed then shook his head. “Don’t worry, Ke. I won’t let them get away with this.”

  “Jon, what are you talking about?”

  He looked up then, as if seeing me for the first time. His gaze changed, and as he stared at me he seemed to slowly morph back into the old Jon. He glanced back at the door, then sighed. “Sorry. Nothing. Nothing. I’m just so ready to get out of here.”

  “You and me both, Jon. You and me both.”

  And just like that I knew what was going to happen. We weren’t going to recover from this. I had no idea what was going through Jon’s mind anymore, but the more time I spent with him the more I saw our future. A future that did not involve us together. I guess I had always known this. Everyone had known it. They’d told me over and over again until they decided to stop and let me figure it out on my own. I watched him now as he was studying the door. My gaze traced the outline of his face as it had done so many times before, but even though it was so familiar to me, it felt as if I was looking at a stranger. When had he changed from that confident but cute boy who rescued me from my fall, to this man who barely noticed me at all?

  “Any minute now,” I heard him mumble, still staring intently at the door with frightening intensity. “Any minute and we’re free.”

  Free. I sighed. Jon had been my first love, no matter what other people might have thought of him. I thought coming in here would be one of the biggest love stories of my life, something to share with our kids for years to come. Instead of a wedding video, we’d play this reality show to them. I had the whole thing mapped out in my head. I even knew what our kids were going to look like. I tried to picture them now, but their faces had turned fuzzy; their bodies had blurred. This was it. That door would open, and everything would change. I thought about trying one more time, but as I was about to say something, he turned his head ever so slightly and burped. Then he laughed and continued to stare back at the door, his gaze even more manic than before. I wanted to tell him to stop being such an idiot. I wanted to tell him that it could very well be four in the morning and that the door might only open later that day. I wanted to tell him to take a step back to remember that the whole world (or, Australia at least) would see this moment of madness. I wanted to tell him to look at me and tell me th
at he loved me. To prove to me that all of this was worthwhile. I didn’t say any of that. Instead, I got up, and scrubbed my mug, over and over again until not a speck of dust, dirt, or coffee was left inside it. Then I did the same with my hands, washing until my skin was raw. The door could open now. I was ready to leave this place.

  Chapter 24

  Jon

  Today was the day. I could feel it in my bones. Even Keri knew it. She was wearing her exit outfit and seemed to have made more of an effort. She’d worn the same outfit the day before, which meant she thought we’d be released yesterday, but time was one big blur now that I actually wasn’t sure anymore. There was something in the air today, a sensation that had not been there yesterday or the previous days. Something was happening. Perhaps I could sense movement from behind the door even though I couldn’t hear anything, or maybe being in this pod for so long had heightened my other senses. I laughed at the thought, and the sound bounced from wall to wall, almost as if it were a tangible thing. I tried it again and tried to slow the sound down with my mind.

  Keri’s head popped out of the bathroom, and she looked curiously at me. From where I sat, it looked like she only had a head, and no body, and that only made me laugh even more. She frowned, and the floating head disappeared. Keri was acting so strange. She kept looking at me in the same way a mother would look at their child who had done something wrong. She disapproved of something I was doing but she didn’t want to tell me. Not that I asked, of course. I had enough things to worry about without having to worry about Keri. I’d already told her a few times about the camera watching the shower, but she refused to listen. That was her problem. If she wanted some strange man watching her in the shower, that was on her. When I got out of this place, I was going to demand to get the entire footage. If I found even one video of myself, Keri or any of the other contestants in the shower I was going to sue them. I would also let the whole world know Larry was a pervert. I was sure of it more than anything I’d ever been sure of before. Outsmarting him had been the one thing keeping me sane in here. I had two theories about the creep. Either he had cameras in the bathroom to watch us doing our thing, or he was pumping something through the air vent to mess with our minds. Or both. Probably both. Why else was Keri going so completely crazy with cleaning? She wasn’t like this back home. I was always finding bits of her hair all over the place, and keeping the apartment clean had never been her top priority. She wasn’t dirty, but she wasn’t a neat freak. Not like she was in here. Something was happening to her brain to make her this way. It was why she’d gotten so emotional on me, too. That’s why I had to be the strong one. I would protect the two of us from this crazy place. We would get let out today, and the first thing I would do was make them show me the tapes. I wouldn’t leave until they showed it all to me. We were going to be rich from all of this, and this stupid reality show would never see the light of day. I glanced up at the air vent now. Don’t you dare mess with my mind, Larry, you sicko.